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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27597040">i'd be lying if i said to you that i know exactly what i should do</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/shybear_styles/pseuds/shybear_styles'>shybear_styles</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>i know you been lost, i'm glad you got found [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Formula 1 RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>I Don't Even Know, M/M, charles and max get a drink, charles will get there, max comes to terms with his feelings, or maybe he already is?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:22:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,666</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27597040</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/shybear_styles/pseuds/shybear_styles</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Charles and Max get drinks together after the Turkish GP.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Charles Leclerc/Max Verstappen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>i know you been lost, i'm glad you got found [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2026049</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>141</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i'd be lying if i said to you that i know exactly what i should do</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I have no excuse for this. None. Someone please stop me.</p><p>This weekend is going to haunt me for the rest of my life and the one good thing to come out of it were the memes about these two going out for drinks, so I had to deal with my feelings by writing this. It's probably bad, but yeah.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> do you want to get drinks together later? </em>
</p><p>Max has been staring at his phone completely speechless since the text from Charles popped up on his screen almost two minutes ago. He was sprawled across the couch in his hotel room mindlessly scrolling through Instagram and trying to numb his mind enough to forget about the complete disaster that was his weekend, but sat upright as soon as the notification appeared.</p><p>He’s been in a terrible mood since yesterday, and it only got worse after the race ended and he was faced with the reality that what was shaping up to be another win slipped right through his fingers <em> again.</em> And now to add to the list of crazy things of the weekend, Charles Leclerc is asking him out for drinks.</p><p>Max is trying really hard to understand what caused this. His interactions with Charles have been limited this season, not only because of the social distancing imposed by the FIA during race weeks, but because, thanks to Ferrari’s shitty car, they only got to share one podium so far this year. The Dutchman isn’t ashamed to admit to himself, alone in the privacy of his hotel room, that he misses fighting with the other driver. They’ve been doing it for years now and, while their stubborness and desire to win has made them kind of reckless on the track, it is always a thrill to fight his childhood rival, even when it leads to disaster, as it often does when they’re involved.</p><p>He got a little taste of it earlier today, when they were fighting for third place for a few seconds, until Charles managed to pass him. He barely had time to be surprised by the overtake and didn’t manage to put up much of a fight, but it left him missing their epic battles.</p><p>Of course, Charles’ race was almost as much of a disaster as his. He heard enough about what happened in the final lap to know that the Monégasque’s mistake cost him not only a hard-fought for second place, but the podium altogether. </p><p>Max considers declining the offer, as he’s sure he’s even worse company tonight than usual, but maybe they could both benefit from getting wasted with someone who’s feeling equally miserable.</p><p><b> <em>sure<br/>
</em></b> <b> <em>but let’s stick to the hotel bar, i don’t feel like getting asked for pictures tonight</em> </b> <b> <em><br/>
</em> </b></p><p><em> alright<br/>
</em> <em>see you at 9?</em> </p><p>
  <em> it’s a date </em>
</p><p>Max has no idea why he used the word date, but by the time his brain caught up with what he typed, the text had already been sent. There’s a small voice in his head saying <em> oh shit </em> over and over again, but he tries to ignore it. Charles will know that it’s just a way of confirming plans, not trying to imply that it is an actual date.</p><p>----</p><p>Max is sitting at a secluded table at the hotel bar waiting for Charles. He saw a couple of people from the paddock when he entered and made sure to sit as far away from them as possible.</p><p>It’s not that he doesn’t want people to know that he’s with Charles, but… Well, they have a bit of a reputation in F1 of not being able to stand each other, even if that is very far from the truth, and the Red Bull driver doesn’t feel like being stared at or starting any rumors. People like to gossip on the paddock like they have nothing better to do with their lives, and Max would rather stay out of it for as long as he can.</p><p>He sees the Ferrari driver entering the bar, surprisingly not wearing a team shirt. He’s instead wearing a dark jacket with a light blue shirt that probably cost a stupid amount because it’s designer, as is everything that he wears in public. As he spots Max and makes his way over, the Dutchman sees that the mess he calls hair is slightly wet and in total disarray.</p><p>“I’m sorry I’m late. I stayed longer at the track to help the mechanics pack and lost track of time, and I still needed to shower.” He takes off his mask and rushes to say when he gets to the table, sitting down in front of Max. He looks stressed, with his shoulders slightly drawn up.</p><p>“Don’t worry, mate, it’s just a few minutes.” He shrugs. He knows that Charles likes to be on time for things, be it a press conference or an online game with the other drivers, and he’ll go on apologizing for a while if Max doesn’t reassure him that it was nothing. He doesn’t dwell on how or why he knows this detail about the other boy. “I have to say, I was surprised by your text. Didn’t think you’d feel like talking to anyone tonight.”</p><p>“I was surprised that you said yes.” He replies with honesty. “Your weekend was just as bad as mine, maybe worse.”</p><p>“Well, I thought that getting drunk would help me feel less like shit.”</p><p>They stop talking when a waiter walks up to the table, waiting until he leaves with their orders to continue.</p><p>“I wasn’t planning on going out tonight, actually.” Charles starts and he looks hesitant to keep talking. “I was just going to stay in my room and watch tv, but I kept seeing these tweets about how we’d probably be going out for a drink together after the race and thought ‘why not?’. So… Yeah, I asked you.” He finishes with a small smile, looking kind of embarrassed.</p><p>“That makes no sense.” Max says with confusion. When the other boy looks away from him with a frown, he realizes how his words might have sounded. “No, I meant that people thinking that we’d go out to drink together makes no sense. Was it because of what I said about you earlier?”</p><p>“What did you say about me earlier?”</p><p>“Nothing bad, don’t give me that look.” The Red Bull driver rolls his eyes when Charles looks affronted, even if he feels a surge of fondness for how easy it is to get a reaction out of the other driver. “Someone told me that you were thinking about starting the race with the slick tyres and I made a joke about you having a few gin tonics before to consider doing that.”</p><p>“Oh,” He nods a couple of times. “Well, it wasn’t that. Or maybe it helped, but it was actually because I sort of walked into your interview with Sky Sports after the race and people were joking that it looked like I was waiting for you to finish so we could go get drunk.” He’s back to looking embarrassed. “Sorry about that. I didn’t even realize that the camera could see me or that I was pretty much staring at you.”</p><p>“Don’t pretend you don’t like staring at me.” Max says with a joking tone and, once again, his brain only catches up with his actions after he’s already gone and messed up. He feels his eyes widen a little and tries to act like it was no big deal.</p><p>Charles looks at him with surprise, but his expression soon turns inquisitive. Despite his joke, Max is still learning to be at the receiving end of Charles’ intense stares and hasn’t yet learned to control the weird feeling that rises in his chest whenever he finds himself as the focus of the other boy’s full attention.</p><p>The weird tension that has settled around them is dispersed by the waiter arriving with their drinks and the Red Bull driver is quick to take a generous sip of his to try and hide how flustered he’s feeling.</p><p>“I was going to propose a toast to our awful weekend, but I see that you’re eager to get started.” The Monégasque says ruefully.</p><p>“I didn’t think it deserved a toast.”</p><p>“We can toast to it never happening again.” Charles suggests and, yeah. Sounds good enough.</p><p>“Alright then. Cheers.” They touch their glasses with smiles that look more like grimaces and both take a long drink.</p><p>As time goes by and they get progressively drunker and louder, Max has a hard time reigning back his instinctive reactions to Charles. To be fair, it’s not like he’s very good at it while sober, but at least he realizes what he’s doing and tries to hide it quicker.</p><p>Tonight, however, his reaction time is impaired by leftover disappointment, alcohol and a red-faced Charles who makes this really weird and squeaky noise when he laughs and whose accent gets even heavier when drunk and Max is completely powerless in the face of the other boy’s <em> everything.</em></p><p>He may be stubborn, hot-headed and impulsive with many things in life, but he’s not stupid. He knows exactly that whatever feelings are leaking through his lowered inhibitions have been there for a long time, pushed down and ignored by sheer force of will. Maybe it’s the fact that this is his first time drinking with Charles with no one else around; maybe it’s the fucked up year catching up with him, or perhaps this shitty race was the last drop on a bucket filled with all the shitty races of the season.</p><p>All he knows is that Charles is laughing and smiling at him, dimples on full display and looking more like the happy, carefree guy he can be when he isn’t surrounded by cameras and strangers trying to find a hole in his carefully-constructed defense of being a polite, soft-spoken driver who is willing to take the blame for absolutely everything that goes wrong during a race weekend.</p><p>Max has never quite understood how the Monégasque can allow himself to be so vulnerable in front of people who thrive on getting a whiff of the smallest hint of weakness. It’s no secret that he will fall on the proverbial sword if needed, sometimes even when it isn’t, and it probably speaks volumes as to how Charles views himself that he’s so comfortable with the outcome.</p><p>In a way, it makes sense. Max is very familiar with the knowledge that no one can be harder on you than yourself. But while that translates for Charles as allowing people to use him as a verbal punching bag, for Max it means that people’s opinions won’t weigh that much on him; he knows what he’s capable of, knows when he fucks up and how to come back from it. That doesn’t mean that he can brush things off easily, of course. Weekends like this one stay with him, especially when his father is around to watch every single mistake he makes and berate him for it afterwards.</p><p>He supposes that some people can be harder on you than yourself sometimes.</p><p>He’s brought out of his musings by Charles’ fingers poking him between his eyebrows.</p><p>“What.” Is all he says, staring at the other boy in confusion.</p><p>“Don’t frown. We are being happy right now.” It’s the reply he gets. Charles is leaning across the table, arm outstretched and two of his fingers still touching Max. He pokes him again for good measure and then, instead of moving back, he uses his fingers to lightly trace Max’s nose and cheekbone and, in what can only be described as a caress, moves them down to the Dutchman’ jaw.</p><p>Max knows he’s blushing from more than just the alcohol right now, but his brain has completely shut down. He’s staring into Charles’ eyes, while they seem fixed on the place where they’re touching. They spend a few seconds just like that and Max barely dares to breathe and risk breaking whatever moment they’re having.</p><p>It gets broken anyway by someone laughing nearby and Charles jumps in his seat, pulling his hand back and hiding it beneath the table, where his gaze is now.</p><p>“Sorry, I shouldn’t have touched you like that.” Max can barely hear what the other boy says over the sound of his heart pounding in his ears. <em> What the fuck just happened</em>. “I should go, we had enough to drink and I’m flying home early tomorrow.”</p><p>Max’s brain finally kicks back into gear when he sees the Ferrari driver grab his phone that was lying on the table and move as if to get up.</p><p>“Wait!” His own hand reaches out to grab Charles’ and keep him from leaving and it causes him to look up again. “You don’t have to leave.” His voice sounds a little bit desperate, but he chooses to ignore it. “I… I didn’t mind that you touched me. No, I minded it, but it didn’t bother me.”</p><p>“That doesn’t make sense.” Some part of him registers that Charles is throwing his earlier words back at him and he decides to just go for it. If it blows up in his face, he can blame the alcohol and avoid the other boy for whatever’s left of the season.</p><p>“I liked it. You touching me like that, I liked it.”</p><p>They’re staring at each other in silence again, Max’s hand still holding onto Charles’ and the Red Bull driver feels like his heart is going to jump out of his chest from how fast it is beating.</p><p>“Oh.” Is all that Charles says. His cheeks are red, green eyes wide on his shocked face. “Okay.”</p><p>“Okay?”</p><p>“Yes, okay.” There’s a tentative smile blooming on the Monégasque’s face now and he bites his lip, looking like he’s trying to hold it back. It doesn’t work and Max feels it reverberate in his chest.</p><p>“Excuse me,” The waiter’s voice comes from above them and this time both boys jump, Max pulling his hand back. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but due to the health guidelines during the pandemic, the hotel bar will close in a few minutes.”</p><p>“Of course, thank you for letting us know. We’ll leave right now.” Charles says in his media voice and smiles blandly at the waiter. As soon as he walks away from the table, the other boy looks back at him. “When are you leaving tomorrow?”</p><p>“Some time after breakfast, I think. I need to check with my manager when my flight is.”</p><p>“Do you want to get breakfast together, then? And if you want, you can cancel your flight and I can give you a ride home.” The sly smile on Charles’ face is doing things to Max that he doesn’t feel capable of describing or even handling at this time of night.</p><p>“I… Guess? I mean, yes, we can get breakfast together.” <em> What the actual fuck is happening</em>, Max feels like he stepped into a parallel universe. “And I don’t know about the flight, but I’ll check it and let you know tomorrow?”</p><p>“Great.” Charles’ smile gets even bigger and he stands up. “Let’s go then, we should get some sleep. We both deserve it after today.”</p><p>Max couldn’t agree more. He’s still feeling a little rattled after whatever <em> that </em> was, but stands up and follows Charles out of the bar after both of them put their masks back on and he can’t help but feel a little disappointed that half of the other boy’s face is covered by the material now.</p><p>There’s still an underlying tension between them as they make their way across the hotel and ride the elevator in silence. When the elevator stops at Charles’ floor, he puts a hand out to stop the doors from closing.</p><p>“So, breakfast at 9?” </p><p>“How about 9:30?” Max tries and the other boy laughs, his eyes scrunching up a little.</p><p>“Fine, 9:30. I look forward to it.” He steps outside and turns back to look at Max. “Sweet dreams, Max.”</p><p>He gives what was probably supposed to be a wink but was actually both his eyes closing at the same time and turns to walk down the hallway while the Dutchman tries and fails to hold back a laugh.</p><p>Max is left smiling stupidly at the closed doors.</p>
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